Back from Vacation
So I took a two-week vacation from writing. I didn’t really do it on purpose, though I should have. I should know by now that when I push myself too hard to establish a routine, I start feeling like I have to write whether I like it or not, and that’s just death to desire. I’m sure it’s some innate mixture of stubbornness and laziness, but I’ve found through experience that when I push myself too hard — not creatively, but just trying to maintain a steady, hammering pace — I quit. Just quit like a car run out of gas. Slowly, I’m beginning to realize that this is me protecting me from myself.
I want to keep loving writing. That’s more important to me than being published. I want to keep writing no matter what, because my brain gets itchy when I’m not writing. If I go too long without writing, I’m miserable. But I needed a couple of weeks to let the brain fog clear and to relax into writing again without the pressure of a word count goal hanging over my head. So for the past two weeks, even though I didn’t make myself write, I found my mind drifting again and again to my stories and what I’d do with them when I picked them up again. Because there was never a question that I would go back to writing.
Both John Scalzi and Justine Larbalestier blogged recently about what it means to be a writer. John was asked if he would ever quit writing and he basically said no, because it’s a part of who he is. Justine talked about the difference between writer as identity and writer as a career. Careers come and go, but writers write, and that’s really all there is to it. What I need to do is stop trying to write by rules that work for other people but not for me.
So I’m giving up on the daily goal of 500 or 1000 words. It’s the kind of thing that works well for a lot of people, but I don’t seem to be one of them. This doesn’t mean I won’t be writing, even writing every day. It just means that I’m not going to stress myself out about an arbitrary goal when all I should be thinking about are the stories themselves.
1Voyagefan
wrote on 25 March 2010 at 20:06
Yeah, I totally know how you feel. Sometimes, I just feel like my heart isn’t completely in writing. Aand lately, my brain has been simply begging to write, but when I sit down to write, it just doesn’t work. Maybe I should take a vacation, too…
Also, I’d like to thank you for mentioning free-writing in a previous post. I have over a hundred pages of free-writing snippets. It’s one way that I can express myself without worrying about plot or anything.
2C.S. Swarts
wrote on 26 March 2010 at 16:19
Voyagefan, Have you read Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg? It’s my favorite writing book, because it taught me how to really let go and still get a lot out of my free-writing.
3Jen Bluekissed
wrote on 26 March 2010 at 23:09
Sounds like a good idea to me!
I also find critiquing during some of the time when I’m not writing teaches me as much (if not more) than when I’m writing because it makes me step back and look at a piece on its own merits rather than my perception of how I see the story in my head.
I walk away from critiquing with all kind of ideas for how to make my own stuff better.
I consider all aspects of the writing process to be writing, so even when I’m reading in the same genre, I consider the time spent writing. Plus, it makes it easier for me to justify reading for pleasure. :-)
4C.S. Swarts
wrote on 27 March 2010 at 1:57
I like this a lot. Putting words down on the page may be the most important part, but it’s not the only part of writing that matters.
5Voyagefan
wrote on 27 March 2010 at 20:35
Thanks for mentioning the book! I’ll definitely try to look for it!
6Lua
wrote on 5 April 2010 at 9:47
“I want to keep loving writing. That’s more important to me than being published.”
You couldn’t have said it better, this is exactly how I feel… At the end of the day, the love and passion I have towards writing and my story is way more important than the number of words I put down that day.
I’m so glad I discovered your blog, consider me a faithful reader of yours from now on and good luck with your writing :)
7C.S. Swarts
wrote on 9 April 2010 at 7:19
Thanks Lua! I’m glad you like the blog. Good luck with your own writing!